Creating your perfect guest list can be tough, especially with all the parties involved from both sides of the family. When it's the party of the year, everyone is going to want an invite to your Raleigh wedding! There are people you will have to invite, others you really want to skip, and those who may or may not make the cut, depending on your venue's capacity. This may be one of the hardest decisions throughout the planning process. But do not stress; we are here to help guide you through the process while keeping you and your family members happy at the same time.

First things first, think about your venue's space and determine what number is most comfortable for your dream day in downtown Raleigh. Chat with your venue manager and ask them what they would recommend and base your perfect guest count number around that. Of course, keep in mind their maximum number to ensure you can invite those extra 20 guests. So how do you decide who does and doesn't get an invitation to your wedding? Here are six guidelines to help you and your families figure it out.

Related: What's Next When Planning Your North Carolina Wedding?

Make A Preliminary List With Just Your Partner

Take some time to create your list, his list, and a together list to begin this process. Think about your immediate family and close family members you have to have at your wedding. Following that, move onto your nearest friends list and keep in mind plus ones, or their spouses. Next, think of those friends you cannot imagine your day without. This is going to allow you to think about the rest of your guest list clearly. Can you invite another 100 guests or 50 guests between your parents, co-workers, and acquaintances?

Decide Where You’ll Cut Off Family Invitations—And Stick To It

Your extended family is going to be a tricky one, so this is a great time to pull in your parents and get their input. There may even be family members you may not necessarily know that they would like for you to extend an invite. To help decide, typically, if one uncle receives an invite, all aunts and uncles should as well. The same rule applies to cousins. Whether you have a larger extended family or a smaller one, don't feel overwhelmed, as this is still a preliminary guest list that you can tweak.

Give Both Families The Same Number Of Extra Guests

After reviewing your family and friends list, determine how many additional people you are comfortable inviting and divide it up between both of your families. Allow your parents to invite a certain amount of friends or business partners. At this point, you can decide on other friends you may think would be a great addition to your list. Stick to this number. It can get tricky when you begin to think, "well, he invited us to their son's wedding" - at the end of the day, it is a celebration for you!

Make The Call About Children

Do you imagine your day with children running around or an adult only celebration? It is entirely up to you, but you will need to stick to it. One possible compromise is allowing the children to attend the ceremony but not the reception. This allows you to have flower girls and ring bearers during the wedding while keeping the adults relaxed later on. A kid can be considered anywhere between ages 2 to 20. However, you will want to choose an age in case someone calls to ask if 'so and so' can come.

If you're unsure of this decision, think about your important guests. Will they be able to get a sitter for the evening? Maybe they have to travel to the wedding and cannot get the weekend away without the kids. If that is the case, allow them to bring their kids to the reception. A great addition is to hire a sitter for the reception. They can use the preparation suites to keep the kids in one area close by for the parents to check on them. You could also place lawn games out on the lawn to keep the kids occupied outside while dancing is happening inside.

Return The Favor

If a friend invited you to their wedding a few years back, there is no need to invite them to yours. However, if you attended their wedding within the last 18 months, that couple should be on your guest list. It can get tricky, so really think about who's weddings you may have been a bridesmaid or groomsmen in and add them to the list. You definitely do not have them in your wedding party. However, it is a great way to return the favor with an invitation.

Related: Signed, Sealed & When to Deliver - Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Follow Modern Plus-One Protocol

Don’t be too generous with your plus ones. You are definitely not obligated to offer every guest a plus one. But if they are in a serious relationship of any sort (dating, living together, engaged, etc.), their partner should be included. Another consideration will be if they are guests who may not know anyone else who is attending the event. Allowing them to bring a guest can allow may encourage them to come more than they originally considered. This can be a friend or family member, so just ask them for their name for when you're assigning seats!